A Secret Angel
by LostInKaos
Summary: The Bohemians stumble upon a young woman. Not only do they change her life, but she changes theirs as well. A mix of AU and canon.
1. Chapter One

A/N: This idea came to my head while I sat in my cultural anthropology class. My first reaction had been 'how cool would it be to mix my major with RENT?' so I did. The young woman in the story isn't a main character. She's there to view the world around her, just like an anthropologist does. She is important which will be discovered much later in the story. I didn't want the story to be based around her. The story follows Mark and Roger through the time line of RENT and after. Anyway, enough rambling... read and enjoy. Please let me know what you think.

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**A Secret Angel**

**Chapter One:**

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_In all my time of living in New York I never realized just how different and yet very similar everyone was within the city. I knew there was a difference between the upper class and the poor, homeless people on the street; I just didn't realize that their attitude toward everyone else was the same. When I became homeless on the street their attitude to someone who was just like them was the same as that of the upper class rich people who owned half of the city: they were mean. But I did learn that even then there were people out there willing to help one another. Those are the people I was lucky enough to meet._

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The Life Café was busy just like it normally was on Friday nights during the winter. Many people just wondered into the building to find a little bit of warmth before returning to the bone chilling cold that raged through New York City every winter. This particular night saw the bohemians enjoying their get together. Once a month they got together to talk about the things that had been occurring recently.

Angel and Collins spent time at MIT where Collins had returned for another teaching job. They were hoping he could hold this job this time. Maureen and Joanne were on their 'on again off again' kick once more. When they weren't together Joanne spent a lot of time at work while Maureen would take over the couch in the loft. Mimi still lived in the apartment below the loft, but spent a great deal of time in the loft. She still worked at the Cat Scratch Club but was looking for a different job. Mark had returned to _Buzzline_ where he hated every moment of it, but it helped to pay the rent, not that he and Roger ever paid it. And Roger had, amazingly, found a job working at a bar. When he wasn't working he'd sit in the loft attempting to write songs. The group of friends was doing okay, but they didn't stay in touch nearly as much anymore. It was more difficult with Collins and Angel at MIT, but they did manage.

On this particular night, it was 'pick on Mark' day. Roger had it in his head that Mark didn't get out enough and severely needed to get laid. This led to many fights between the two roommates. Roger would say Mark needed to get out and Mark would retaliate by claiming he did not and would then lock himself in his room to void seeing Roger. Tonight, however, Roger had his other friends on his side. He was determined that Mark should have some fun.

"Seriously Mark, you need to get out." Roger said as he leaned back in his chair. His one arm wrapped around Mimi's shoulders while she cuddled into his side. She giggled at the death glare Mark sent Roger.

"Drop it Roger." Mark said. This was the twelfth time Roger had said some form of this statement since they had arrived at the Life and they had only just ordered their drinks.

"I think he's right. When was the last time you got laid? Before we broke up?" Maureen asked. She gave Roger a wink who smiled in return. Joanne smacked her arm and gave her a look that clearly said 'back off'. Maureen, of course, didn't listen.

"That is none of your business." Mark said trying to ignore them. It wasn't going to happen and he knew it. He also knew that they weren't going to let it die.

"They're just messing with you, boy." Collin said. He was extremely amused by the whole 'get Mark laid' scheme that Roger had apparently been working on.

"Mark, honey, you don't have to do anything you don't want to." Angel said hoping to be of some help. However as soon as the words left her mouth Roger cracked up laughing, which soon had the others joining in except Mark and Angel.

"Not helping, Angel." Mark muttered under his breath. Angel gave him a sympathetic look.

Just then their drinks arrived. Mark knew he was going to be in for a long night if he was the only one of the group not partaking in alcohol. He had to work rather early and turning up to work with a hangover was not something he needed to have happen.

"In all honestly Mark" Roger began after setting down his beer "you need to go out and do something. When was the last time you weren't the seventh wheel?"

"I'm not even going to ask what vehicle in your world has seven wheels." Mark replied not looking up at his friend.

"You're missing the point, Mark." Roger said with a smile on his face.

"I'm ignoring the point, Roger." Mark said before taking another drink from his tea. It was going to be a long night if it was going to all be based around trying to get him laid. It's not that he didn't appreciate his friends; it's just that he didn't appreciate them trying to control his sex life. There was a large difference between the two.

The night dragged on and once everyone was fully drunk it once again turned to the plan of getting Mark laid. He had finally had enough and left the table. He took his tea and head over to the bar. He didn't think his friends would miss him considering they were talking about him as though he wasn't there to begin with. He loved them, he really did, but he didn't need constant reminding that he was, indeed, alone.

Mark sat down at the bar, set his tea on the counter, and then ran his hands through his hair. He didn't want to put up with this anymore. They all needed to learn that he could live his life how he wanted and if he didn't want to go out and get laid then he wasn't going to. Besides, he had a definite fear of contracting HIV, not that he would ever tell his friends that.

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?" a voice asked from behind him. Turning around he came face to face with a woman no older than himself. She looked to be a bit shorter than him and she was defiantly thinner. She had short auburn length hair that was currently pulled into a half pony tail. She wore worn and semi dirty jeans, worn shoes, and a coat that looked like three of her could have fit within it. She carried a backpack over one shoulder and a messenger bag over the other.

"No, it's not." Mark said to her. She gave him a smile before sitting down beside him. Mark returned to the tea before him as well as the problem of his friends. He just knew that Maureen was going to try to set him up on a date. He would of course tell her no, but she'd set it up anyway. When he refused to show up the other person would get mad and use rather expressive vocabulary to show her displeasure, which Maureen would pass on to him word for word. He ended up groaning out loud just thinking about it.

"Are you alright?" a voice beside him asked. He turned his head in his hands to look at the woman who had sat down beside him a few minutes earlier.

"Yeah, just great." Mark said with no emotion but a lot of sarcasm.

"I'm sorry. I'm sure it will get better." She said obviously picking up on his sarcasm.

"Knowing my friends, I doubt it. When they are determined, they are determined." Mark replied. It was then that he noticed that she had a notebook out in front of her with a pen in one hand and a lot of random scribbles across the pages in front of her. "Are you a writer?" he asked looking at it.

She looked down at the notebook and then back to him. "I suppose so. I've been trying to write this for a few years now, but this is the first time I've actually sat down to do it." She said.

"Why in the Life?" Mark asked. Anything was better then returning to his thoughts and if that meant talking to complete random stranger, then so be it.

"I don't have anywhere else to go." She said looking back down at the notebook and writing down a few things.

"Are you homeless?" Mark asked. She looked up at him quickly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you."

"No, it's fine. It's the first time someone has been nice to me since I got here. I guess you could call me homeless. I mean, I could always return home to my mother, but that would defeat the whole reason for coming here." she said looking at him.

"When did you arrive?" Mark asked. He was now curious about this woman sitting next to him.

"About two days ago. It's not easy living on the street in winter. I come in here to get warm. The wind and snow are too cold to stay out in it long." She said as she wrote down more into her notebook. Her writing was in such a way that Mark couldn't even begin to make any of it out. It actually looked foreign to him.

"Have you just been wondering the streets?" Mark asked. He was surprised that she wasn't frostbitten or dead because of the cold. Sure he and Roger were always freezing in the loft, but at least they were protected from the other elements outside the walls.

"Yes. It's hard to find even a place to stay for a few hours to get out of the snow." She said.

"Do you need a place to stay?" Mark asked. He remembered what it was like to wonder the streets for a few days before he had run into Roger and Collins. Granted when he had arrived in New York City it was summer.

"I don't have much money." She said quietly.

"And you think my roommate and I do? We've by passed paying rent for a few years now. It kind of helps that one of our old roommates owns the building we live in, but still. We're lucky if we have food to eat." Mark said. "You can stay with us for a few days. It's a place to stay. It's not warm, but it's warmer than being outside. We have a couch you can use until you can find another place."

"You're offering me a place to stay and you don't even know me. Aren't you afraid I could be a serial killer or something?" she asked looking at him.

"Not really. We've met our fair share of people in this city. We're pretty good at telling killers from people who need help. Besides, you look rather scared of this city." Mark said with a smile on his face.

"I can't lie. I am." She said quietly turning back to her notebook and writing down a bit more.

"See? I have faith that you won't kill us in our sleep. Besides, we don't have anything worth stealing. I'm Mark Cohen by the way." He told her.

"I'm Robyn, Robyn Martens. And I thank you, Mark. I think I'm going to have to take you up on your offer. I don't think I can survive another night on the street." She said.

"I'm surprised you survived this long. It's the coldest it's been in a while." He said. Mark then stood up. "Come on, let's get you introduced to my roommate and then head out of here. They are more than likely going to be here a few more hours deciding on how best to ruin my life." He said with a smile and a roll of his eyes.

Robyn returned the smile before standing up and repacking her things. She didn't have much but it was better than some had when they arrived in New York City. Mark led her over to the tables were his friends resided. They were rather drunk and laughing hysterically at something. Apparently it was the wrong time to walk into their conversation.

"Pookie!" Maureen yelled and jumped up to wrap her arms around his neck. Before she had the chance to kiss him he pushed her off at the same time that Joanne reached up to pull her off of him. This elicited more laughter from the group of friends.

"Where'd ya go?" Roger asked. His speech was starting to slur and Mark knew it was going to be fun dealing with him later.

"Away from you and your plan to get me laid." Mark said. More laughter broke out from around the table. A few of the people in the Life were giving them looks, but none of them cared.

"It's a good plan, Marky!" Roger exclaimed.

"We'll talk about it when you're not so drunk. Anyway, I want you guys to meet Robyn." Mark said introducing them to his companion. A round of greetings sprang up from the table. Robyn waved to them shyly. "She just arrived here and she needs a place to stay so I offered up the loft." They all just nodded their heads. They were completely wasted and he knew they wouldn't have that much remembrance of the night. He decided to leave it at that and just tell Roger that he had introduced Robyn to him last night but since he, Roger, was too drunk he probably didn't remember, which was true. Mark grabbed his jacket, scarf, and bag and then told Roger he would see him back at the loft. Maureen cried out asking why he was leaving so soon. Mark replied with 'work' and then left.

Together Robyn and Mark walked through the city until they arrived at the building. Mark unlocked the door and together the two headed up to the loft. Once again Mark unlocked the door and slid the door open to reveal the messy, but well lived in, loft.

"It's not much, but it's been home for the past six years." Mark said placing his bag down by the door. He then removed his scarf and jacket and tossed them onto the chair beside the couch. "Make yourself at home." He said walking into the kitchen to heat up some water since he knew Roger would need coffee as soon as he arrived home in a few hours. This was, of course, after he emptied his stomach contents into the toilet and complained about a headache. Mark was use to the drill by now and so just prepared for it.

"It's cozy." Robyn said as she placed her backpack and messenger bag on the floor beside Mark's. "It reminds me of my friend's house. Well lived in."

"It is very well lived in. People come in and out of this loft more than they should. Some of them just walk in as though they live here." Mark said. He made his way over to his bedroom and went to walk inside of it. He stood just inside the doorway and stopped. He knew Roger would be coming in late tonight. He also knew he had to get up and go to work early. Thinking on it he turned back around and headed back into the living area where Robyn stood. "I'm going to let you have my room tonight. I'm sorry it's not clean, but it's better than the couch."

"No, that's okay. I don't want to push you out of your room. I'll take the couch. It's fine." Robyn said. It was apparent that she didn't want to make him do more than he was already doing for her.

"I was going to give you the couch, but tonight that wouldn't work well. Roger's bound to come in at the most ridiculous hours of the morning. He's been drinking so we go through this whole routine to get him into bed. I have to get up early for work so I'd end up making noise in the morning, and when Roger gets up after a night out he sits in the loft most of the day playing guitar. You'd actually get some sleep if you slept in my room." Mark said explaining everything to her.

"I really don't want to force you out of your room. I'd be fine on the couch." Robyn said.

"Until a drunken Roger stumbles across you and flips out. He can be violent when he's not fully aware of himself. That's not to say that he's violent. It's just that… I mean—"

"I understand what you mean. I have a cousin who is violent when he's drunk. Trust me; I've been the receiving end of that. It's okay. I know how to deal with it." Robyn said. Mark just nodded his head. Why was it so hard to get across what he wanted to say recently? He blamed it on lack of sleep.

It wasn't much longer before Mark had made up a makeshift bed on the couch for himself and had gotten things semi cleaned up in his room for Robyn. He had fallen asleep working last night so there was paper and film scattered across his bed. How he had slept he had no idea. Once the bed was cleaned off and semi-made, he had grabbed the things he would need for work and left them by the couch. This way he wouldn't have to disturb her come morning.

After talking for a half hour or so Mark started that he needed to get some sleep considering he had to get up for work, not to mention deal with a drunk Roger in the earlier hours of the morning. The two said good-night and Robyn headed into Mark's room after telling him how much she really did appreciate what he was doing. Once she had closed the door Mark laid down on the couch to sleep.

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It was past 2:30am when Roger finally stumbled into the loft. The sound of the door opening woke Mark from his sleep and the sound of vomiting in the bathroom had him rising from the couch. Mark closed the door before heading into the kitchen to make coffee from the water which had been warming since he had arrived back.

Roger stumbled into the living area and flopped down on the couch. He leaned forward and rested his head in his hands. He groaned as he waited for his stomach to settle some and for some of the pounding in his head to stop. Neither of which was being very cooperative. Mark sat down next to his roommate and handed Roger the cup of coffee he had just made.

"It amazes me that after all these years you still do this." Roger said slowly drinking the black coffee. He knew it didn't really help, but it did make him feel a little better.

"It amazes me that after all these years you still get this fucking drunk." Mark said standing up. He headed into the bathroom to make sure Roger hadn't made a mess. Luckily he hadn't tonight, which made life on Mark much easier. Last month had been entire different story.

"What can I say? When you involve Collins and alcohol one is bound to get wasted off their ass." Roger said leaning back in the couch with the coffee still in his hands. "Where did you go, anyway?"

"I'm surprised you even have coherent speech." Mark said returning from the bathroom and ignoring Roger's question.

"I'm not that bad." Roger replied.

"Not tonight. You were last month though." Mark said heading into Roger's room to make sure there wasn't anything on the bed and Roger could just flop down onto it and sleep until late afternoon.

"Was not, Marky." Roger said starting to slur his words.

"You only call me 'Marky' when you're drunk because you know I won't beat your ass for it." Mark said taking the coffee from Roger and setting it on the table.

"You can't beat my ass. Mimi does that." Roger said as he started to lose his battle with coherent thought as well as consciousness.

"I don't need to know about your sex life, Rog." Mark said helping Roger to stand up. Roger started to mumble random things while Mark helped to take him into his bedroom. Roger continued to mumble as he lay on the bed while Mark removed his shoes. Once the shoes were gone Mark covered Roger in a few blankets so he didn't freeze while he slept through his drunken haze. Before Mark had even left the room Roger was snoring.

Mark dumped the remaining coffee in Roger's cup and rinsed it out. Roger would use it again when he woke. Mark then returned to the couch hoping to sleep for a few more hours before he had to get up for work. Before he fell asleep he made a mental note to write a note to Roger about Robyn. That was his last thought before he returned to sleep.

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A/N: There you go. Chapter one. Let me know what you think. :)


	2. Chapter Two

A/N: Disclaimer (since I missed this in the first chapter): I don't own RENT. I'm humoring myself and resting my brain from text books to borrow the characters and world created by Jonathan Larson. I promise they will be returned to their original state once the story is complete.

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Chapter Two:

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_I had been lucky enough to find the rare group of people within the city who loved, regardless. They had demons in their past, but who didn't? They loved life and more importantly, they loved each other. I've never seen such devotion between friends. I'd known them no more than 12 hours and they were already trying to help me find a job as well as giving me a place to stay. I couldn't believe my luck. I knew I would have to repay them, I just didn't know how._

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Roger woke the next day just after noon. He was surprised he was up before Mark returned home from work. It was more often than not that Mark would wake him up after getting home. However, there were also times when Mark couldn't even wake him up.

He wondered into the kitchen to get some coffee. He still had a slight headache and the concept of coffee helped him to forget that his head was throbbing. He started to heat the water that Mark had left from last night when he noticed a piece of paper lying next to his coffee cup. As the water began to heat he picked up the paper and read it.

'_Rog, hope you're not too hung over today. I also hope you get up before I get home from work. You asked last night where I went. I came back to the loft with someone. Before you jump to conclusions about me getting laid (which we are going to talk about, by the way), it didn't happen. I met her at the Life last night and offered her a place to stay for a while until she could find a place. She just arrived in New York two days ago and we both know what it's like to be on the street freezing. Anyway, I gave her my room last night since I knew you would be home late drunk off your ass and because I had to get up early for work. Don't scare her off, and don't even think of bringing up your 'get Mark laid' plan. I'll see you when I get home. Mark'_

Roger placed the note back down and chuckled to himself. It still amazed him, after all these years, how well Mark actually knew him. He had been determined to bring up the 'get Mark laid' plan until Mark ruined it. Oh well, there was always later. Then again, he was also skeptical of the conversation Mark wanted to have in regards to that plan.

He took his newly made cup of coffee and took a seat by the window. Mimi had to work tonight so she would still be in bed for a few more hours. Angel and Collins were only in for a few more days before heading back to MIT so they were visiting with friends from Life Support today. He had no idea what Joanne and Maureen were doing and he wasn't really in the mood to deal with Maureen today. Mark was still at work and would be for another two hours. This left Roger by himself for another two hours. He could work on his song, but not until his headache was gone.

The sound of Mark's door opening had Roger remembering that he wasn't alone in the loft this morning. Mark's friend, if you could call her that, was also here. Roger turned to look at the woman standing in the doorway to Mark's room. She gave him a sheepish smile before darting into the bathroom. Roger couldn't help but chuckle to himself. This woman reminded him a lot of Mark.

A few minutes later the woman returned from the bathroom and walked over toward Roger. She was wearing long fleece pants that hung off her hips, socks, a shirt and a zip up sweater that looked a size or two too big for her. Her hair was pulled back into a pony tail and her hands were tucked into the pockets of her sweater.

"Hi." She said quietly sitting down across from Roger by the window.

"Hello." Roger said looking at the shy person across from him. "There's some coffee in the kitchen if you want some."

"Thanks, but I don't like coffee. I prefer tea." She said pulling her legs up to her and wrapping her arms around them. She tucked her feet into the extra length of her pants to keep them warm.

"Mark doesn't like coffee either. I'm sure there is some tea in the kitchen. I don't drink the stuff so I have no idea." Roger said taking a drink from his coffee cup.

"That's okay." She said turning to look out the window. "I'm Robyn…Martens… by the way."

"Roger." He said also looking out the window. "So how did you and Mark meet?" he asked after a few moments of silence. Mark had been right. Roger didn't remember anything from last night.

"At the Life Café. I sat down next to him and we started to talk. Once he found out I was basically living on the streets he offered me a place to stay. I probably wouldn't have agreed if it wasn't so cold." She said.

"Mark has a heart of gold. He just doesn't always know how to share it with the right people." He looked over at her. "This isn't to say you're a bad person. He's just been hurt a lot in the past because of what he's willing to do to help people. Sometimes I still can't believe that he still lives with me consider what I've put him through."

Robyn looked at him but didn't say anything. It was apparent that she felt rather awkward at the moment. "I had a friend that was like that. It cost her her life." She said sadly.

"It's almost cost Mark his." Roger was quiet for a while. He was thinking of everything that had occurred while he had been on drugs and while going through withdrawal. The things Mark had put up with truly amazed Roger. However Roger knew he owed Mark his life. He'd be dead by now if it wasn't for Mark and his undying and unconditional love for him. "Do you know how long you'll be staying with us?"

Robyn looked at him with an unsure facial expression. "I have no idea really. I don't want to impose on your home, but I honestly don't have anywhere else to go." She said then looked down at her feet.

"Knowing Mark he'll let you stay as long as you want. I don't really care either way. But there are a few things you have to know if you're going to stay here." Roger said. Robyn looked up at him. "Mark had a weird work schedule so there are some days where he works, comes home to sleep, and leave to work again. I work nights a few days a week. So there are times when we don't see each other for a few days because of this. Mimi, my girlfriend, lives down stairs so sometimes she randomly walks in, be it through the door or the window is totally up to her mood. Collins and Angel randomly stop by when they are here. No one really knocks except Benny, but he only does it once before opening the door and demands rent money, which we never have. Maureen and Joanne aren't around much, but when they are fighting Maureen usually takes over the couch. This basically makes up our family." He stopped to take a drink of his coffee. "The biggest thing to know is that Collins, Angel, Mimi and I are all HIV positive so Mark's really big about taking care of us. Mainly me since I live with him. You'll hear him yell through the loft for me to take my meds. That's basically the gist of living in the loft." He drank more of his coffee.

Robyn looked at him and took all of this in. Roger knew he didn't explain it as well as Mark would have. He also realized this is probably what Mark meant about not scaring her away. Oh well, too late. If she was going to stay here then she had to know. "Oh, by the way, don't worry too much about helping out with rent. We never pay it. We never have money for it. Just so you know if you permanently move in." Roger said.

"Good to know, I guess." Robyn said hesitantly.

"Sorry to scare you. It's just the way things go around here really. We are really open people with our friends. Our loft is theirs too. Granted Mark and I are the ones that live here, but that's not the point. I don't know how many times we've spent days here getting smashed." Roger said chuckling out loud.

Robyn could only nod her head. It was indeed a lot to take in.

Roger and Robyn spent the rest of the time just talking randomly about nothing. They talked about why they had come here. They talked little on their families, just that Roger was an only child and so was Robyn. They talked about their friends and they talked about their high school lives. Before they knew it Mark was home.

Mark placed his bag by the door before taking off his coat and scarf. He placed them on the back of the chair before heading into the kitchen. First thing he did was look to see if there was any food, but as always, there wasn't. "Rog, we really need to go shopping." He said.

"Does it look like either of us have money?" Roger asked from his place beside the window; his coffee cup sitting at his feet and his guitar resting in his lap. Robyn sat across from him with a notebook, a pen stuck into the base of her pony tail and another one in her hand.

"Do either of us ever have money?" Mark asked walking out of the kitchen and leaning up against the back of the couch. He hadn't eaten last night since he had walked away from the table nor had he eaten during the day. He was hungry and he knew Roger would be too.

"Any random money we ever got was from Angel. Looks like my next paycheck goes toward food." Roger said strumming his guitar absentmindedly.

"Mine usually goes toward medication and rent." Mark replied.

"Welcome to the life of starving artists." Roger said dryly.

"I have some money for food." Robyn finally said from her place. "It's not much and it won't last long, but I haven't had much luck finding a job."

"How old are you?" Roger asked randomly ignoring the money for food comment. That was Mark's area to deal with.

"Twenty-four."

"There is an opening at the bar I work. If you think you can handle random drunk guys then you should come with me and talk to Jess. She's nice and she'll let you try." Roger said. Robyn could only nod her head. What was there to lose?

That night while Mark cleaned up his room some so he could actually work, and the loft to make place for Robyn to stay, Roger and Robyn headed off to the bar he worked at. The bar was not your typical bar. Almost everyone in the place was standing and shouting. Drinks were being passed around randomly. There were two girls and one guy behind the bar. Each was moving quickly in order to fill the drink orders as quickly as possible. Roger, with Robyn following, walked to the small room to the side of the bar.

"I'll go let Jess know about you. Just wait here." Roger said hanging his jacket on one of the hooks and then left the room. He clocked in and then headed over to Jess. "Hey Jess, I found you a new girl." He yelled over the noise and music of the bar.

"Good to know, Davis." Jess replied as she handed out two beers to one of the men at the bar.

"She came with me. She's in the back if you want to talk to her." Roger said heading over to help his co-workers with the orders. "Hey Lynn" he called out to her.

"Way to be late, Davis!" Lynn responded as she handed out drinks and took money. It was a Saturday night so the bar was packed and it wouldn't begin to slow down until 3am or so. "You owe me, a lot. I've been covering your half."

"I know. Go sit down or something. I'll cover both for a while." Roger said grabbing Lynn's shoulders and turning her towards the back so she could go and rest for a while. It wasn't often that Roger was late, but when he, or someone else, was there was always another person who would cover for the time being.

Roger actually enjoyed the concept of working at the bar. It was easy. It was fun, and it paid very well. He'd walk out of the bar in the morning with a few hundred dollars stuffed in his pocket. He felt good being able to help Mark with food and such for once. He knew Mark did a lot of the financial work around the loft, but for the first time since April had died, _he_ was doing something again.

He worked at The Hounds which was a competitor bar with the all girl bar down the street, Coyote Ugly. Both had just recently opened and were doing really well. The only difference between the two bars was that The Hounds had two guys, Roger and Jakub. Other than that they were the same. They both served alcohol and pulled off dance routines on top of the bar. Most of the time it was the girls who danced while the guys continued to serve, but every now and then Roger and Jakub would join in.

It wasn't long before Jess returned with Robyn in tow. Roger hadn't even noticed Jess disappear since he had been busy filling orders. "I like her, Davis, but it's up to you to train her." Jess said before turning to leave Roger with Robyn.

Roger looked over at Robyn with a grin on his face. He remembered what it was like to be the new guy, not to mention how much fun it was to watch the new people train. He had witnessed Amber's training, and that had been a riot. She had been clumsy beyond belief, but she was no long that way. "Let's get to work." Roger yelled to her. Robyn followed him over toward the next waiting customer. "What'll you have?" Roger shouted out toward the man leaning against the bar.

"I need eight shots; four Canadian, four South of the Border, six-pack MGD and a double-blended back." The man shouted back to Roger.

"You got that?" he asked Robyn as he pushed her forward and toward the man. This was the best part of new workers. Put them in the most horrendous situations and see how they react. Robyn did not disappoint.

"Eight shots of what?!?" she exclaimed looking between the man and Roger. Roger couldn't help but smirk as he started to pull out the shot glasses and pour the drinks that the man wanted.

"Forty-six even" Roger said pushing the drinks off toward the man. The man placed the money on the bar before starting to hand the shot glasses off toward the other man behind him. Roger looked at Robyn after putting the money in the register on the counter behind the bar.

"You did that on purpose!" Robyn cried out to him.

"Welcome to The Hounds." He said with a huge ass grin on his face.

For the rest of the night she followed behind him learning things here and there as well as helping out every now and then when it was something that she understood. He showed her how to do things around the bar and she picked up on the prices fairly quickly, but making the drinks was an entirely different concept.

The night wore on and with it went more and more of the customers. Before long there was no one left in the bar except the workers. Roger looked at the clock. It was nearing 4:15am. He would end up getting home just after Mark had left for work. It was going to be another day or so before they actually saw one another again.

"Nice work, kid. Come back next time Davis works and we'll see about making you a hound." Jess said patting Robyn on the back. "Here, this is what you earned tonight." She handed a small bundle of cash to Robyn before moving onto the other people.

"What'd ya think?" Roger asked after walking up to Robyn.

"It's different. I can't say I've ever been to this type of place before." Robyn said pocketing the money. Roger knew it was a lot to take in. He had had problems the first time he had worked. It got easier by the third time.

Jess walked up to them and gave Roger his earnings. He held at least two hundred dollars in his hand, but it all went toward food as well as helping Mark with rent. Mark made more than him, a lot more, and as such Mark paid for the medication he needed. Mark had some health insurance through _Buzzline_ which ended up making the medication a little bit cheaper, but not much. Roger still didn't fully know how Mark got around the whole system considering they were Roger's meds but he wasn't on Mark's health care. He really wasn't that worried about it. He got his AZT and that's what mattered.

After helping to clean up the bar for the next day it was almost 5:20am. Together Roger and Robyn walked out of the building and into the cold. Mark got up for work around 5am so they might see each other but it was doubtful. Mark left by 5:25 and Roger sometimes didn't get home until 5:40 depending on the weather.

He had been right. By the time they had arrived back to the loft Mark was already gone. Roger went into the kitchen to leave Mark a note as well as his money for food. Mark did the shopping. Roger had done it once before and swore to never do it again. Robyn joined him a few moments later, her jacket discarded on the chair. Roger picked up the note Mark had left and read it to himself.

'_Rog, who knows when I'll see you again, it's one of those funny weeks. I'm picking up your meds as well as Mimi's after work. You'll have them before you head into work. Next time tell me when you're almost out. If I find an empty bottle in the trash again, I'll send Collins after you. Robyn, you're free to use my room again. You'll actually get some sleep in there. We'll work out what's going on later. Mark'_

"Mark's having you crash in his room again." Roger said looking up from the note as he set it back down on the counter.

"I guess that's a hint to go to bed. I'm beat." Robyn said leaning against the counter as she looked up at Roger.

"It's hard the first few times. It gets easier, though. I work again tonight at the same time." Roger said flipping the piece of paper over to write a note back to Mark. "However it appears that Mark's keeping you here. He usually doesn't arrange things, even when Maureen crashes here for a day or two." Roger finished the note and left the kitchen. He then pulled the money out of his pocket and placed it in the inside pocket of his jacket, which he still had on. Mark knew where the spot was. It was the only place Roger left money for Mark. After tossing his jacket on the couch, Roger said good-night and headed into his room. Upon lying down he fell asleep.

* * *

A/N: I know nothing about bar tending or drinks for that matter so I took that information from the movie Coyote Ugly. I also know that I'm setting this story during RENT which according to the movie is 1990 and the actual bar Coyote Ugly didn't open until 1993. I did say the story was a mix of canon and AU.

I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know what you think. Thanks!


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three:

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

_It was the hardest thing to do. I hadn't talked about Emily since her death two years earlier. I had always kept that a hidden part of my story. I didn't want to share it. I didn't want to relive it. I felt that if I told her story I would lose that special bond with her. I felt I would lose her. I couldn't go through that again, but something about him compelled me to tell her story. If he could keep his friends alive by telling their story, could I keep Emily alive?_

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The next day went the same way. Robyn had awakened before Roger so she had seen Mark for a while. Mark, however, had to go help Maureen with another protest so he wasn't there long. Shortly after he had left, Roger woke up. They spent a few hours relaxing around the loft. Roger attempted to play guitar while Robyn wrote some more in her notebook. Eventually they got ready for work and together they headed off. In the morning Robyn and Roger, once again, arrived home just after Mark had left.

The day after that was different. Roger didn't have to work and so far Robyn only worked if Roger did; He was still training her after all. He had decided to take the day and spend it with Mimi. She didn't have to work, but she did want to go job hunting to find a better job. Roger had decided to go with her. Besides, Collins and Angel had returned to MIT and Maureen and Joanne were nowhere to be found. This ended up leaving Mark and Robyn with nothing to do.

Mark arrived home around the normal time. He had had to work in the morning, but happily he was off tomorrow. He was looking for a day to sleep in. This however also led to a problem because he and Robyn had been sharing his bed since they both slept at different times. They were going to have to work that out. Luckily the person he needed to talk was currently sitting by the window writing in her notebook like she usually did.

Robyn looked up at Mark when had arrived back to the loft and smiled contently at him before turning back to her notebook and wrote more down. Mark remove his jacket and scarf as well as his bag. He placed them all down on the couch and walked over toward her. He sat down by the window across from her. "Having any luck?" he asked.

"Yes, actually." She said continuing to write not looking up at him.

"Where's Roger?" he asked trying to look at what she was writing.

"With Mimi." Robyn replied. She stuck the pen behind her ear and looked up at him.

"He'll be there all day then." Mark stood up and walked into the kitchen. "You hungry?" he asked her. Mark had gone shopping after work yesterday so there was food in the loft now.

"Not really." Robyn replied to him. Mark just nodded his head while he grabbed stuff to make a sandwich. Once he was done he sat down across from her once more.

"What all have you done today?" he asked looking out the window.

"Nothing much. I've mainly been writing. The sooner I get it done the better." She said watching him.

"Do you want to return home that quickly?" Mark asked looking at her.

"Not really. I know my mother misses me, but I can't go home yet. I told her I won't be home until I accomplished what I set out to do. I know I should call her and let her know I'm fine, but then she'll just try to convince me to go home. She isn't very supportive of my being here." She took the pen from behind her ear and started writing some more. Mark watched her some but he still couldn't make out any of the words so he just went back to concentrating on his sandwich.

"Do you have any other siblings?" Mark questioned.

Robyn shook her head. "No, I'm an only child. I had a brother, years ago, but he ended up getting really sick as a child and he never recovered. My mother was heartbroken for the longest time. It took two years after his death before my parents conceived me. What about you?"

"I have one older sister, Cindy. We've never seen eye to eye on anything. She was always better then I was, except at school. I was the good kid that got all A's. My parents had great hopes for me, but what they wanted, I didn't. When you come from a family like I did, it's not easy to deal with disappointing your parents. I just keep telling myself that they have Cindy and their grandkids. Come to think of it, I don't even know my nephews." Mark said. He hadn't really thought about his family in a while.

"I don't have any, but that goes with being an only child." She said with a smile. Mark couldn't help but smile back.

"You mentioned your mother, but what about your father? Is he okay with you being here?" Mark asked. He hadn't really had a chance to sit down and talk to her since he met her in the Life a few days ago.

"My father passed away five years ago. I was away at my first year of college when I found out. I ended up leaving college to return home. I took over my father's work since I was his only child. I never got a chance to go back. I've been so busy doing everything else that it just never fit in. I finally decided to make time for myself so here I am." Robyn said.

"I'm sorry about your father." Mark said quietly. He had finished his sandwich a while ago and was now just sitting there listening and talking to her.

"I've learned to deal with it. We were never that close. He wanted one thing from me and I wanted another."

"Sounds like my father. I came from a religious Jewish family. My father was all about going to college and bettering yourself. I tried but it wasn't for me. What they want me to do wasn't for me. So I did the hardest thing I had ever done. I went against my parents' wishes and I came to New York. I remember arriving here and thinking 'what the hell have I done?' It wasn't but a few days before I ran into Roger and Collins. Everything else is just history, I guess. My mother does have a tendency to call… a lot. This is why we screen. I love her, but calling three times a day is ridiculous." He said with a smile.

Robyn smiled too. The topic then changed from Mark and her to Roger. "What about Roger? What's his story?" she asked.

"Roger has a difficult story to tell. I don't even know all of it. He keeps the darker parts of his past a secret, even from me. I do know that he didn't grow up in the happiest of homes. His father had been an alcoholic. He told me that the first memory he has is of his father beating his mom. When Roger was five his father was sent to jail and he and his mother moved around here. Roger had moved to New York when he was eighteen. He'd been here two years when I met him. He was big into drinking and such with Collins, but he wasn't an alcoholic."

Mark stopped to think for a moment. "It had to have been a year or so after I moved in that Collins and Benny left. It wasn't long after that that Roger had to face his past. We had received a phone call from the police. Roger's mother had been murdered. He was then told that his father had escaped jail not a week before. I went with Roger to deal with everything regarding his mother. I had never seen him so broken. Up till that point that had probably been the lowest point in Roger's life. He and I became best friends from that moment on. Two weeks later we heard that his father was found dead. Roger is an only child so essentially he has no family except for us." Mark stopped once more, but Robyn didn't say anything so he went on.

"Eventually Roger ended up in the wrong crowd. His girlfriend at the time got him hooked on heroin. He would do anything he could to get a hit. He did everything short of selling himself on the street. I hated to watch him during this time, but he wouldn't listen to me, and his girlfriend hated me. Well, she ended up finding out that she was HIV positive and she killed herself in our bathroom while leaving a note for Roger saying 'We've got AIDS.' Roger crumbled, he had hit the next low point in his life, and I was left to clean up the mess she left behind." He paused in his story. It was hard to relive Roger's withdrawal days. "Roger then went through withdrawal. It was the hardest six months of my life, but it was worth it. He's clean now. He's finally back to the Roger I met when I first arrived here. The only difference is that he has HIV. He and I have an interesting friendship, but we help each other. Regardless of it all, we're still friends." Mark said finally ending his story.

It was silent for a while as the story sunk in. "I'm glad he's made it through it all." Robyn said quietly.

"So am I." Mark said looking out the window. "So am I."

They remained silent for a while. It was hard to give a revelation like that. Telling of someone's dark past was difficult, but wasn't it just as hard to tell the story of a lost friend? "Were you friends with his girlfriend?" Robyn asked.

"No, she hated me with a passion. It was still hard when she killed herself though. I'd been living with her for three month when it happened. I was the one who found her and cleaned up the mess. I'm surprised I managed to get through that without getting HIV. I don't think Roger could handle knowing I had it because I cleaned up his girlfriend's mess. Luckily I didn't get it." Mark replied.

Both sat quietly for a few moments. The words were sinking in slowly. "I lost a friend." Robyn said quietly.

Mark looked at her for a moment before replying. "I'm sorry."

Robyn was silent for a moment then turned to look out the window. She pulled her knees to her chest and hugged herself. Her notebook trapped securely between her body and legs. "I remember receiving the phone call that told me she was gone. I couldn't comprehend what I was being told. Imagine receiving a call saying Roger was gone. Could you handle it?" She asked stilling looking out the window.

"No and I dread the day when it comes." Mark replied quietly.

"I went numb. How do you handle losing your best friend? Your sister? I couldn't. I broke down. I remember my mother holding me as I sobbed into her shoulder. It was the worst pain ever. Part of me thinks it was worse than finding out that the illness had claimed my father. It was horrid. It hadn't even been peaceful. She's been in a car accident and she died on the way to hospital. She was awake for the pain that raged through her and finally claimed her life. I sobbed through her funeral." She turned to look at Mark. "It's been two years and I still can't bring myself to visit her grave. Emily was my best friend, my sister, and after two years I still can't deal with the pain. I haven't spoken of her since her funeral. It's been too hard."

"So why tell me?" Mark asked.

"Who else would understand? You lost someone, granted you weren't close to them, but you witnessed it firsthand. Most of your friends will leave sooner than they should. Once day you'll really understand the pain, but you already understand most of it." Robyn said.

"I'm not sure that's a good thing." Mark replied dryly.

"Maybe not, but at least you know you aren't alone." Robyn said returning to look out the window.

He wasn't alone. At least he wasn't alone right now. He knew one day Roger and the others would be claimed by the virus that ransacked their bodies. He knew he'd have to face the numbing emotional pain that came hand in hand with losing friends to the cold hand of death, but he didn't want to think of it. It would come, but he wasn't ready for it. Not yet.

* * *

Author's note: Sorry it took so long to get out... life got in the way... hopefully I can update sooner next time.


	4. Chapter Four

Author's Note: Welcome to the next installment of this story. I'm dedicating this chapter to my friend Amandals2007 who I recently introduced to the wonderful and addicting world of fan fiction.

* * *

Chapter Four:

0o0o0o0o0o0

_I grew up with my parents teaching me good morals. They taught me that the best thing I could do was to be honest with someone. I knew that I was breaking that moral with every lie and false truth I spread to this group of friends. I knew they would hurt once they discovered the truth, but I never realized that someone could hurt people and not even care enough to realize it. I learned that the day I saw him crumble when facing his past. Who knew one person could be hurt so much due to a single act? Who knew it would hurt even more by trying to deny it? And who knew it would slowly destroy their hope the more it happened? I didn't, but I do now._

0o0o0o0o0o0

The weeks passed and before long it was arriving into the middle of February. Roger had been spending a lot of time down at Mimi's the past few months. Collins and Angel hadn't been heard from for a while. The past month's get together had been missed. No one called to get together so it didn't happen. Mark spent a lot of time at work, but when he didn't work he had Robyn's company. She was working on her book a lot so sometimes even her company was lacking. Maureen and Joanne were working on another protest… and fighting.

Mark was in the loft working on his film. He wasn't getting very far but it was something. Robyn sat by the window writing like she normally did. The loft door flew open. The first reaction was that Roger and Mimi had had another fight and Roger had returned to vent. This had happened almost daily over the past few weeks. Both Mark and Robyn learned to stay quiet and allow Roger to vent. He would vent and then leave to return to Mimi.

"I can't believe her!" It wasn't Roger. Maureen stood in the doorway with her hair a mess and a bag beside her. Mark looked at her with a shocked yet semi-concerned look. It had been a while since Maureen had showed up at the loft with a bag. Robyn just sat by the window watching.

"What happened this time?" Mark asked returning to the small amount of editing he had been doing.

"She kicked me out. Permanently!" Maureen yelled as she flopped down on the couch.

"For what?" Mark asked once again. This wasn't the first time Maureen had come crying into the loft about being permanently kicked out. It would only last a day or so before the two made up and she left once again.

"Her ivy league shit is too much for me. She won't let me do my protest my way. She won't let me have any fun." Maureen cried.

"Like what?" Mark asked unconcerned. It was better to let her think the world revolved around her and then move on. It ended better and faster that way.

"I haven't done anything fun. She didn't like the idea of me piercing my nipples, so I didn't. She wouldn't let me say at the Clit Club to dance because she wanted to go home. She claimed I was flirting with a woman in rubber! When have I _not_ flirted with a woman in rubber?" Maureen exclaimed.

Robyn snorted in the background while Mark looked at Maureen with raised eyebrows. He knew it was better not to comment. Wasn't that half of the reason they broke up? Maureen's obsession with being the center of attention? It didn't matter that she had a boyfriend (or girlfriend) who loved her and gave her the attention she needed, but did she have to have everyone else's as well? That and her constant cheating certainly had something to do with her and Mark's failed relationship.

"Maybe you should show her more commitment?" Mark asked while not looking at Maureen. He hated being involved in their fights. He had a tendency to agree with Joanne ninety-nine percent of the time anyway.

"Commitment? All she wants is commitment?" Maureen asked looking shocked. Was it hard to believe that people actually needed some reassurance that their partner was faithful and loyal to them? Was it so hard to believe that one could indeed be happy with just one person for the rest of their life? Apparently it was hard for Maureen to grasp. Yet again, another reason for her and Mark's failed relationship.

"Yes, Maureen, people do like to know that they aren't being cheated on and that they are the only person for their partner." Mark commented dryly. He didn't want to have this conversation.

"Is that what you wanted, Marky?" she asked looking at him.

Mark couldn't help but groan. He didn't need this conversation. Where was Roger when he was needed? _'Barge through the door needing my attention any time now, Rog.' _He thought, but it didn't happen. He had to respond. "Yes, Maureen, it would have helped." He said not looking at her.

"I don't understand. I thought you were fine with our relationship." Maureen stated. She was hopeless in the case of relationships.

"I was, until I found out you were cheating on me. Roger told me daily to leave you, but I couldn't bring myself to see the truth. I didn't want to see the truth. I knew, Maureen, I knew about every single other person you slept with. I'm not dumb. I knew, and it hurt, but I stayed with you because part of me had the ridiculous hope that if I showed you I cared enough, you'd stop and realize that I was all you needed. Amazing how well I can fool myself." Mark stated dryly. It hurt to bring up his failed relationship. Every relationship he had ever been in, a grand total of two, lead to cheating and failed relationships. He had realized he was nothing more than a place holder until someone better came along to fill the spot.

"Pookie, I never realized." Maureen said moving over toward him, but he stopped her.

"Because you didn't want to. You are hopeless in relationships, Maureen. You don't know how to care for anyone else but yourself. Until you learn to care for someone else more than yourself, then you won't have a successful relationship." Mark said looking at her. "Now, do me a favor and go crash at Mimi's. I can't deal with this shit that you always bring with you." With that he turned and headed into his room, closing the door behind him.

Mark fell onto his bed and stared at the ceiling. He couldn't believe he had just said those things. He hadn't realized he was still bitter about being cheated on. Apparently, considering what he just said, he was indeed very bitter.

---

Roger was down in Mimi's apartment like he had been for a while. It was the first time that they hadn't fought over stupid stuff. It helped that Mimi was currently asleep and would be for a while. She had to work again tonight.

He sat on the couch contently strumming his guitar. He was hoping for a song, but it wasn't coming. There was a knock on the door. Sighing he placed the guitar on the couch and walked over to the door. He opened it to come face to face with Maureen.

"I can't believe them!" she screamed and pushed past him.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you, but Mimi is sleeping. Would you mind not using your normally loud voice and tone it down a bit?" Roger asked closing the door.

"What the fuck? Is it bash Maureen day?" she cried sitting down on the couch. She had almost sat on his guitar. Roger glared at her while he picked it up off the couch so it wouldn't get destroyed.

"I'm not following." Roger said as he went to go place his guitar by the window so it was out of the way.

"First Joanne kicks me out and then Mark kicks me out." Maureen said.

"For what?" Roger asked. He had Mark's motto when it came to Maureen. Let her think the world revolved around her and then move on.

"Joanne claimed I was flirting with a woman in rubber. When has that _not_ happened?" she said repeating the same thing she had just said to Mark. "And then Mark kicked me out because according to him I bring too much shit that he doesn't want to deal with. What is he talking about?"

"How'd this get brought up" Roger asked while sitting down in one of the other chairs in Mimi's apartment.

"We were at the Clit Club the other night and—" Maureen started.

"Not the thing with Joanne, the thing with Mark." Roger said cutting her off.

"I was telling him why Joanne decided to kick me out. He told me that I should show her commitment. I asked if that was all it took and if that's what he had wanted. He then got all defensive and told me to leave. Robyn wasn't of any help either. After Mark had locked himself in his room she just shrugged and suggested I do what he said. I don't understand what he's so upset about." Maureen said.

"How many times did you cheat on him?" Roger asked. He knew exactly why Mark would get defensive, but he didn't think he would throw Maureen out; at least not in the terms that she was using. Ask her to leave, sure; throw her out, he seriously doubted Mark would do that.

"I don't remember." Maureen said looking at him.

"Did you sleep with more than one person while you were with Mark?" Roger asked again. He was either going to get her to understand or he was going to kill her for being so stupid on the concept of relationships.

"Yes."

"Did it ever bother you that those other people weren't Mark?" Roger hoped for an answer of 'yes' but he wasn't expecting it.

"Not really. Sex is just sex right? It doesn't matter who it's with." Maureen said. Roger wanted to hit her.

"It does if you've made a commitment to be in a relationship with someone. When you are in a relationship with someone, you are with them, and only them. This is probably why Mark got defensive." Roger said.

"But why? It never bothered my parents when the other would show up with someone else." Maureen said. That explained so much. Maureen had been raised in a family where cheating was the norm. Roger would never have guess that even after all this time, Maureen wouldn't have picked up on the fact that cheating was, indeed, bad.

"Honestly, Maureen, I don't know what to tell you. What you think of relationships is different than what everyone else in this world thinks. Until you realize that, there is nothing any of us can do to help you in your relationships."Roger said standing up. "Talk to Mimi about staying here when she gets up. I'm going up to talk to Mark." With that, he left the apartment.

---

Roger slid open the loft door and looked around. Apparently Mark had been working on editing some of his film, but he was nowhere to be found. Robyn sat by the window writing like she did a lot of the time. No one really knew what she wrote about. No one really asked.

"Where's Mark?" Roger asked as she closed the loft door.

"In his room. Has been since Maureen left. Is she always that dense with relationships?" Robyn said looking up at him.

"As far as I can tell, yes. And apparently it doesn't even bother her in the slightest that she's hurting other people." Roger said heading toward Mark's room. "Do you know if he's okay?"

"No idea. I didn't know what to say so I just left him alone. I don't know his as well as you do." She said.

Roger just nodded his head before knocking on the door. There was no response so he opened the door slowly. Mark was lying on the bed facing away from the door. He was either asleep or he didn't want to be bothered. "Mark?" Roger asked quietly as he closed the door.

"Yes?" Mark replied quietly.

"You okay?" Roger asked sitting on the edge of the bed and turned to look at his best friend.

"I suppose." Mark said. It was apparent that he didn't want to talk.

"I chewed Maureen a new one for you." Roger said. It wasn't entirely true, but he had been short with her and he was pretty sure he had left her with many questions.

"It's okay, Rog. I'm over it." Mark replied.

"But you aren't. I live with you, Mark. I know I haven't recently, but I did when all this happened with her. I saw you hurt, Mark. These walls are thin. I heard the tears. What she did to you, and is doing to Joanne, isn't right, but she doesn't see that. The fact that she keeps coming back to you when things go wrong isn't helping you. She's not with both of you. She's with Joanne, but even her concept of 'with' is different than Joanne's…" he trailed off. He didn't know what else to say.

"It's fine Rog. I know she's a piece of work, but I'm the one who could never say 'no' to her. I finally did that today. I can't deal with her shit anymore. I'll help her when she needs it, but her relationship problems stay far away from this loft." Mark said finally sitting up to look at Roger.

"We can do that." Roger said placing his hand on Mark's lower leg since it was the closest part to him. "It will all work out in the long run. I promise."

"I hope so, Roger, I really hope so."

---

Mark had remained in his room after his talk with Roger. Roger had decided it was best to not return to Mimi's since he did not feel like dealing with Maureen. Robyn was still writing contently by the window. Roger decided to take this opportunity to find out what it was she was working on. She had been living with them for around a month and still no one knew what it was she was doing.

"What is it with you and writing?" Roger asked looking over at her.

"What is it with you and playing the same song over and over again?" Robyn asked without looking up at him.

"Touché" Roger replied. He was just about to question her some more when the loft door opened and in walked a slightly annoyed Joanne.

"Where is she?" Joanne growled out to Roger who was contently sitting on the couch.

"Last I knew, she was down at Mimi's but that was at least an hour ago." Roger replied.

"She's not here?" Joanne asked slightly shocked.

"No, apparently she and Mark got into a fight and he told her to leave." Roger said. Robyn nodded her head from the window where she was still sitting.

"Mark kicked her out?" Joanne asked with a hint of shock in her voice.

"I didn't believe it either." Roger said.

"Where is he?" Joanne asked looking around the loft but saw nothing other than the lonely editing equipment in the corner.

"His room. Has been since Maureen left." Robyn commented quietly. Joanne stood there looking between Roger and Robyn and Mark's bedroom door.

"I take it as you want to talk to him?" Roger asked coyly from his position on the couch. He loved making people feel uncomfortable, which is why he always vocalized his 'get Mark laid' plan. Mark was his favorite victim.

"If he wouldn't mind." Joanne said finally taking a seat in the open chair next to the couch.

"I'll go get him." He said getting up. He looked over at Robyn who took the hint to pack up what she was doing and get ready to leave. It still amazed Roger that after a month she was able to pick up on his hints when it had taken Mark months is not years to do that.

Roger knocked on Mark's door before entering. Mark was spread out on his bed sleeping contently. Roger hated to wake him. He always hated to wake Mark. The filmmaker never slept much so when he did Roger would rather leave him alone than wake him on pain of death. However it appeared to him that Mark could benefit from having a conversation with Joanne.

"Mark, wake up you lazy ass." Roger said shoving the sleeping man on the bed.

"Go away, Rog." Mark replied attempting to get Roger to not only leave him alone, but go away.

"I would, but Joanne is in the loft wanting to talk to you. I personally think you two should talk." Roger replied.

"Maybe later." Mark commented as he rolled onto his side and faced away from Roger.

"No, now. Robyn and I are leaving. Go talk to her." Roger said once more before leaving Mark's room. He told Joanne Mark would be out in a while once he woke up fully. After that he and Robyn both exited the loft just as Mark was coming out of his room.

---

Mark saw Roger close the loft door before he sagged into the couch. He was still tired and he was currently trying to wake up. He really just wanted to be back in bed but Roger thought he would benefit from this conversation. He wasn't sure how, but anything to humor Roger.

"I didn't mean for Roger to wake you. I can go if you want." Joanne said starting to stand.

"No, I'm up now. What did you want to talk about?" Mark said making himself comfortable on the couch.

"Maureen." Joanne said quietly.

"Why does she always come back to haunt me?" he asked himself.

"Mark" Joanne started but she didn't know how to ask the question she wanted to. She figured being direct was the best option. "When did you first discover that Maureen was cheating on you?"

"When did I first know or when did I first decide to acknowledge it?" Mark asked.

"Both?" Joanne asked unsure she wanted to know.

"Maureen and I were together for almost a year, give or take. She first started cheating about a month into our relationship. I didn't acknowledge it until about five months into our relationship. Roger kept bring up to me daily. He mentioned it every time she came home really early in the morning. I refuse to listen to him. I didn't want to admit that he was right and that it was happening again. So, I didn't. I knew she came home around dawn because that's when she'd crawl into bed and want to cuddle in my arms. I allowed her to. I never admitted it to myself because I didn't want to acknowledge that it was occurring once again. Finally I had to." Mark said.

"What do you mean it was happening again?" Joanne asked.

"My first girlfriend did the same thing. She cheated on me and then broke up with me for another guy that she had been with for at least two months by then. At least she had been discrete about it. Maureen basically flaunted the fact that she was cheating." Mark said.

"When did you finally realize that it was true?" Joanne asked.

"When she stopped coming home in general. She would be gone for days on end. I couldn't avoid the truth anymore. Unfortunately that's when Roger was in withdrawal so I couldn't do much to deal with it. I just accepted it. I spent all my time trying to get him clean that I think she used that as a reason to never come home. Once Roger was finally on the road to recovery she broke up with me. I was working on editing some film while Roger sat by the window just staring out at the world. She just came in here and told me it was over. She had found someone else and that she'd be back for her stuff later. It was the first time in months that Roger laughed."

"I'm sorry Mark. She never told me she was with someone else. I never would have done anything with her had I known she was with someone." Joanne said quietly.

"It doesn't matter now, does it? It's over." Mark said quietly.

"Yeah…It's over…"


	5. Chapter Five

Author's Note: I know, it's taken me ages to get this out. I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. This was a very difficult chapter for me to write. Writer's box was horrid through this chapter so I just took something and ran with it just to get through it. Bad, I know, but hopefully that chapter won't be too horrid.

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Chapter Five

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_I knew facing one's past was difficult. I had kept Emily hidden for years. I didn't want to face the truth that she was gone. I figured by never having to face that truth I could just let it go. I still haven't visited her grave since the funeral. It would make me remember; make me remember a past I couldn't go back to. I never realized how hard a past could truly be until I saw the turmoil it caused within him. He wanted to fight for what he knew was right, but he was afraid to lose her. I could see it in his eyes when he confessed this to his roommate late one night. I listened to his tears as he fought between what was right and what was easy. I cried to myself as I realized that my fight to keep Emily alive was nothing compared to what he was facing daily._

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Slowly the winter months had turned into spring. Spring led to summer and before any of them knew it fall was arriving. Few things had happened during that time. Maureen and Joanne had made up, but they still fought, a lot. During that time Roger and Mimi's fighting became more frequent.

They fought about Mimi's drug use. They fought about Mimi cheating with Benny, which she denied each and every time it was brought up. They fought about Mimi's job at the cat scratch club. They fought about who was breathing whose air it seemed like to Mark. He's been on Roger's venting side of every fight for the past so many months.

Mark sat idly in the loft reading an old newspaper. Robyn sat by the window writing like she always did. Every day she said she was getting closer to finishing her story and Mark couldn't decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing. He was getting used to Robyn's silent company. It was comforting during times like these.

The loft door flew open and clanged loudly on its rollers that Mark was afraid it was going to fall off and clatter loudly on the floor. Luckily, it didn't.

"I don't believe her!" Roger yelled as he stormed into the room. Mark and Robyn looked at Roger before answering.

"What now?" They both replied. This halted Roger for a split second before he went on ranting yet again.

"She refused to admit that what she's doing is wrong!" Roger yelled again.

"Is this about her job…" Mark asked.

"…her habit…" Robyn added.

"…or her cheating this time?" Mark finished. Neither Robyn nor Mark had looked at each other, they just continued to look at Roger.

Roger looked at both of them for a moment before falling down onto the couch, which groaned under the abuse, and sighed. "I've done this often haven't I?" he asked.

"Yes" Mark and Robyn both replied. This time Mark and Roger looked at Robyn. She shrugged before gathering her things and exiting the main part of the loft into Mark's room. It was apparent that this was a friend bonding moment that she didn't need to be a part of.

"I don't know what to do, Mark." Roger replied.

"I'd say 'give it time', but time doesn't appear to be working with her." Mark said.

"You delt with me. You got me to stop. How?" Roger asked.

"I didn't just make you stop, Rog. A part of you wanted to stop. You realized what had happened to April and a part of you broke. You needed to stop. You realized it and came to me, crying, I might add, for my help. You said you couldn't do it anymore. You wanted to be clean. You fought Collins and I tooth and nail, but deep down you know you needed to quit, so you did. It wasn't just because we locked you in your room and refused to let you out of our sight." Mark sighed. "Unless Mimi wants to quit, I doubt she will."

Roger didn't comment, he only nodded his head.

---

Roger said in Mimi's apartment waiting for her. He needed to talk to her. He needed her to realize she needed to quit. He had to convince her it was what she wanted to do, however that idea flew out the door as soon as Mimi opened it.

Mimi stood in the doorway holding a little bag in her hand staring at Roger before stuffing the bag behind her belt. She was trying to hide the bag quickly from his sight, but it was no use. He's already seen it, and Roger knew that Mimi knew this.

"Again, Mimi?" Roger asked her with disbelief laced in his voice.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Mimi said calmly looking at him.

"Bull shit." Roger said walking up to her and pulling out the baggie she had been trying to hide. "I suppose you're going to tell me you don't know what this is." He held the bag out in front of her face. "I'm sick of this Mimi. I've told you to quit, I've begged you to quit. Mark's asked you the get clean, and don't tell me he hasn't. Don't you think Mark and I know what this leads to? This has got to stop, Mimi."

"You did it too" Mimi exclaimed ripping the baggie out of his hand and sticking it in her bra.

"Yeah, and look where it got me. I'm HIV positive for it, and it almost got Mark killed on a few occasions." Roger said to her.

"I don't have problems controlling myself, unlike you. You're the reason Mark almost died, not the drugs." Mimi spat at him.

"It's because the drugs were in my system!" Roger yelled at her.

"Then maybe you shouldn't have followed everything your girlfriend said!" Mimi yelled back.

"She's dead because of the drugs!"

"She's dead because she was weak!"

"And you think you're stronger than her?" Roger asked deadly quietly and serious.

"Yes!" Mimi yelled back.

Roger looked at her and shook his head. "You won't even open your eyes to the truth, will you? She died because she couldn't handle the consequences of her actions, nor would she except help. At least I accepted help from Mark and Collins. I'm alive because they cared enough about me to help me. I care about you, Mimi, but unless you care about yourself, I can't help you."

"I do care about myself." She retaliated.

"From where I'm standing I find that hard to believe. You care more about your next hit than you care about yourself or even me. I'm not doing this anymore, Mimi. Until you open your eyes and realize you need help, I'm leaving. I've had enough!" Roger yelled at her before pushing past her and heading out of the door she had just entered.

When he reached the loft he only saw Robyn sitting by the window, once again, writing. "Where's Mark?" he asked closing the door.

"He left for work not a half hour ago." Robyn replied looking up at him.

"Shit" Roger exclaimed. "When will he be home?"

"I don't know. Normal time?" Robyn replied.

Roger groaned before falling onto the couch with a frustrated sigh. This was getting harder as the days went on. He loved Mimi, he knew he did, but he couldn't handle her always getting high. It seemed like she only really loved him when she was high and he didn't want that. He's had enough when it came to drugs. He didn't want to deal with them anymore, but Mimi refused to give them up. Where was Mark when he was needed?

"Penny for your thoughts?" Robyn asked from behind the couch. She had gotten up from the window and was now leaning over the back of the couch looking at Roger.

"You'd need more than a penny." Roger replied turning his head to look at her.

"Unfortunately, all I have is a penny. I used my money to buy food this week. Mark said he was picking up your medication after work. He also told me to tell you to take your medication." Robyn told the man on the couch.

"That's Mark for you."

Just then the loft door opened again to reveal Mimi standing in the door way looking at Roger and Robyn. From the look on Mimi's face this wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation.

"Roger, we need to talk. How dare you walk away from me!" Mimi practically yelled at him. Robyn took this opportunity to return to the window and out of harm's way.

"How can you continue to use? You do something I don't like; I do something you don't like." Roger replied. He knew Mimi was high. He could tell by the look in her eyes. She wasn't fully there. He also knew she'd remember part of this conversation once she came down from her high and she'd regret it.

"I hate you, Roger Davis. I hate you!" Mimi yelled before running from the room. He heard the sound of her door slam closed. She's regret that once the high was gone. She always did. Roger just sighed.

"That was… interesting." Robyn replied.

"You have no idea."

---

Mark arrived home later that evening to find Roger on the couch with his guitar and Robyn nowhere to be found. He scanned the loft and came up empty. It wasn't often that she was gone when both Mark and Roger were home.

"She's with the other girls for a girl's night." Roger commented when he saw Mark looking around the loft. "Apparently Mimi called Maureen crying and Maureen decided they needed a girl's night. Maureen came up here personally to drag Robyn out the door. It's a great opportunity for us though."

"How so?" Mark asked setting his camera down on the table and removing his jacket and scarf. It was starting to get to cold even though it was only the beginning of fall.

"Maureen dragged her out of the loft so quickly she didn't have time to remove her notebook from the seat by the window. I'm curious to know what's in there. All she does is write in it." Roger said as he lazily strummed his guitar.

"You know I hate it when you go through my things. I'm sure she'll hate it if you go through her things." Mark commented as he sat down next to Roger. "Anyway, why did Mimi call Maureen crying?"

"We got into a fight."

"Nothing new there." Mark stated.

"I don't know what to do."

Mark looked at his best friend with a sad smile on his face. "Unfortunately, Roger, it looks like there is nothing you can do."

"But it's not fair, Mark. I want to help her like you helped me, but I can't." Roger said. It was as close to crying as he was going to get. Roger didn't cry. At least, he hadn't since April died.

Just then the loft door opened and Robyn walked in. They could hear Maureen yelling up to her about being a party pooper and not wanting to join in on the fun, but Robyn ignored them and closed the door behind her.

"Have fun?" Mark asked.

"I hear about the fights from Roger. I didn't need to hear them from Mimi too. I might as well just sit in on their fights and make a commentary of them." Robyn replied taking her jacket off and placing it on the table next to Mark's.

"Sorry." Roger mumbled under his breath at her.

"No big deal. I dealt with fighting a lot back home. I'm used to it." Robyn said.

"I thought you said you didn't have a sibling and your father had passed away." Roger commented. Mark shoved him. "What?" he asked. Mark just shook his head.

"You're right, I don't have a sibling and my father did die, but before he died I heard a lot of it from the people he dealt with. Occupational hazard I guess you could call it." Robyn replied before yawning.

"Why don't you head to bed?" Mark asked.

"You're both sitting on my bed." Robyn comment as she picked her notebook up from the window. "You didn't look in this did you?"

"No" Mark said and Roger nodded his head in agreement to Mark's statement. "Anyway, I don't work in the morning. Take my room."

They had never fully worked out sleeping arrangements in the loft. They just rotated who slept were. If Roger was gone then Mark crashed in his room and Robyn took Mark's room. If Mark worked in the morning and Roger was in the loft then Robyn took the couch and Mark had his room. It was a weird arrangement, but it worked for them surprisingly.

"Alright then. Night boys." Robyn said before heading off into Mark's room and closing the door most of the way. Mark's door never liked to stay closed all the way half the time.

Once the door was finally closed Roger lost it. He couldn't handle it anymore. Mimi was addicted to her drugs. She wouldn't give them up, but she claimed to love Roger. It wasn't fair for Roger to make her pick, but this was something that needed to be chosen.

"I can't lose her, Mark." Roger cried quietly. Mark wrapped her arm around Roger's shoulder and held his friend as he cried. "I can't, but I don't want to see her use anymore. I want her to stop."

"Just because you want her to stop, Rog, doesn't mean she wants to. She'll never recover if you force it on her and she doesn't want it. She'll retaliate and it will be worse than it is now."

"I don't know what to do."

Mark just held his best friend closely and allowed him to cry. Roger never showed weakest to anyone but Mark. It was part of their friendship that was truly special.

"Neither do I, Rog, neither do I."

---

The next fight, however, was the end of Roger and Mimi's relationship. Mimi came home beyond high and proceeded to tell Roger about how good a lay Benny was. Roger lost it and said stuff that no normal person should say to another and that was that.

For Mark that meant dealing with Roger's random mood swings that he hadn't dealt with since Roger's withdrawal. For Roger that meant dealing with more emotional things than he ever wanted to. And for Robyn it meant no more yelling about a fight that was the same as all the other fights before. For once it was simply quiet in the loft.

That didn't last.

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Author's Note: Thanks for reading. Please review and I'll work on updating again later.


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